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Should You Chuck It All?

Just chuck it.

Leave your relationship. Put in your two weeks notice. Have a fire sale for all your stuff. Pull out your savings, or your credit card, get on a low fare site and buy a one-way ticket to your dream destination.

Get on that plane. And get the fuck out.

Or you could just try a different flavor of tea, today.

I’ve gone both routes and, while the second isn’t quite as sexy or dramatic of an action, it can do the trick sometimes.

Change doesn’t require uprooting your life.

(At least, not always.)

But how do you know if you’re in one of those moments — nails already halfway down the chalkboard, irritability and restlessness making you feel like you want to come apart at the seams, unable to appreciate the paper-picture-perfect life you’ve so careful crafted for your Facebook friends — where drastic measures are your best option?

And are those even the signals to look for?

Let’s deal with the second question, first, because, in short, the answer is…SOMETIMES.

Sometimes, the need for change comes at you like a screaming banshee.

  • Relationships, projects and table-top objects are shattering and crumbling around you.
  • Physical eruptions are hitting you over the head, providing a direct link between your status quo and your doctor visits.
  • You are authentically startled by the image that greets you in the mirror and the words that come out of your mouth.

Sometimes, the need for change is a dull silence bordering on a vacuum.

  • Your screams of frustration are stuck in your head, only audible to dogs and dolphins.
  • You say “fine” so often, you’re considering your first forehead tattoo.
  • People you haven’t seen for five, or even ten, years still know all the relevant specs of your life.

Both conditions can blow out eardrums, windows and your sense of self. And both conditions might just require a slight recalibration of your equilibrium.

Baby steps.

They’re certainly worth a try before you start up the bulldozer. (And, don’t worry, I’ll discuss the benefits of the bulldozer move, like I took a few months ago, in an upcoming post.)

Because, despite the sexiness and drama of it, taking a kamikaze leap onto a blank slate isn’t a move you can change your mind about mid-jump.

So, first, take a cue from those real-life little critters. After all, children don’t learn to crawl before walking because they’re so emotionally attached to floors or because knees are so much more suited to holding our weight.

They do it to build up strength and confidence.

They do it to because they want to explore the unknown boundaries of their world without face-planting painfully from an incomprehensible height.

They do it because they can.

So, looking at your world, your resources, your strength and confidence levels, what can you do?

More importantly, what WILL you do, short of chucking it all? Do tell!

with pleasure,

Emily Lewis

 

 

 

p.s. You know where to find me, if I can be of help.

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{ 4 comments… add one }
  • Anna Long-Stokes October 22, 2015, 10:58

    Oh how I love this post!

    The funny think about the “screaming banshee” pace of change is that it often isn’t quite as drastic as it seems at the time. Sure, walking off the job one day (you know, the one that you’ve hated for years), can seem dramatic, but often it’s been building for years and them BAM – something clicks and all of a sudden you make the BIG move and take the leap.

    I’ve done this a few times in my life and while it seems extreme to others, I’m often thinking “well yeah, it SEEMS extreme, but it’s been building for awhile…so really it’s not that shocking”.

    But today, I’m going to get a fancy tea latte 😉 No big changes needed right now.

    • Emily Lewis October 22, 2015, 12:25

      So glad you love this, Anna 🙂

      And I agree with your assessment of the screaming banshee. That’s part of what I’ll talk about when I get around to the post on that choice, as promised here.

      In the meantime, enjoy the hell out of your fancy tea latte!

  • Al Clunnie October 22, 2015, 11:19

    It’s a great perspective – there is so much change going on in my life at the moment.

    • Emily Lewis October 22, 2015, 12:39

      Hang in there, Al. Change can be both exciting and scary as hell. If there’s a lot of it already going on…breathe. Creating space helps transform chaos into groove. 🙂

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